This time, it’s in the wilds of Ottawa, Ontario… where a Headless Horseman is terrorizing the locals.
It’s in an alternate reality apparently, because SLIDERS is mentioned somehow, and it also involves… Torchwood. [A SHOW I HAVE NEVER SEEN]
So it turns out that there’s a team of investigators from Torchwood investigating this Headless Horseman, who is believed to be a black man in disguise. [My dreams are racist, you guys, HELP!] when it turns out to be… a ROBOT!
He tries to hide under a pile of dead leaves and grass, but is found out because HIS PUMPKIN HEAD IS STILL STICKING OUT OF THE PILE.
This robot is confronted by a sexy lady, a random dude, and a sexy lady who is carrying the memories/core of her former robot lover who convinced her to move to Ottawa in the first place on a 3.5 INCH FLOPPY DISC!
Our “Horseman” treats the lady robot with no respect because the sexy lady robot appears to be weird to him. Why? Because she’s been punched in the face somehow and she has a broken neck. How can you tell? Because she has a ROCK ‘EM SOCK ‘EM ROBOT neck… [which was later edited by a GIANT PENCIL that came from NOWHERE]…
It’s later revealed that she’s a sex-bot when she inserts the disc into her system…
I had a really weird dream that basically was a live-action version of Calvin and Hobbes, which was actually really cool… but then Hobbes became fully real and visible as Calvin sees him because a random witch made him that way.
Later on, there was this giant battle between Calvin and 3 witches, one good and two bad, and Susie was helping. Susie, btw, was played by Chloe Moretz which was kind of awesome at the time… but yeah, the battles were intense and it all took place at my childhood home and stuff… and at one point Calvin dressed up like a superhero and tried to stop the witches and Hobbes was getting mad because Calvin was about to die and he had to team up with Susie and it was really weird and cool and kind of upsetting at parts…
And I don’t even know anymore… it was just insane.
Today, someone made me feel like less of a person because I opted to choose a soda to drink, in lieu of something else. I was basically ranted at for making a poor beverage choice, and was told that I was, in essence, “getting fat.”
Now, normally I’m a man of stout character who lets things roll off his back quite easily… but when my back’s rolls are called to attention and such, it dug a little into me. So much so, that when presented with a said soda, I refused it entirely. Furthermore, instead of taking the bus home, I opted to walk the entire hour and a half home because I’m such a god-damned fatty that I could probably use to walk a few dozen, nay, HUNDREDS of blocks to the destination of my choosing.
Drenched with sweat due to the summer’s heat and my intelligent decision to wear a hoodie to work, I came home and basically slept because I’m so enamored with sloth that I should embody it in every capacity necessary.
Never mind the fact that I only consume approximately one soda per day on average, and when I do, it’s usually due to the fact that I need the caffiene and I don’t want to shove yet another cup of warm misery down my throat from the place I’d just spent the entirety of my day at being bothered and nagged at by people who can’t bother to listen to what a customer has to say, so they have to call me every ten seconds to swipe my little blue card due to the simple fact that they just can’t be arsed to listen.
After sleeping for a few  hours, I’m now awake and hungry. I thought about getting food on the way home from work, but I was too mad and such about it. Now, it’s nearly 10 pm and I really can’t be arsed to do anything else.
So you know what I’m going to do?
I’m going to take a walk to a nearby fast food restaurant and order an excessive amount of processed meat, cheese, and a bit of salad with it, shovel it down my corpulent gullet and pray to Dave Thomas that it makes me feel somewhat better… because I’m a fatty, that’s why.
… and at least I’m walking there instead of ordering in or taking a taxi.