i’m not really depressed but i guess this is shit that weighs on me on a semiregular basis so
idk i guess venting has to happen at some point
but the job related one is probably the most significant because every day i go into work its just another day i’m not working in my field of…
At least you have a field, man…
I never even went to college/university… I’d been working since I was 15 and was hoping that my parents would help with college/university or that it’d be easy to get a loan for it… but nope. I didn’t really try because my folks told me art wasn’t a “viable career option” and that I should “go into a trade” and make more money that way.
So, I was bound and determined to save some money so I could go to school… but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.
Sure, I wanted to go for art… but for what? I’d heard not a lot about the art schools in Canada, and none of them offered the choices that SCAD showed for me… and if I could have gone I would have…
But nope… it was a huge clusterfuck of time and effort and I just didn’t try. So I worked and worked and worked and worked… I worked at the same job until I was promoted to Supervisor… until I was promoted to Assistant Manager… paying my folks rent and stuff all the while… getting into an online game where I met a ton of my friends… posting stuff on DA… writing… drawing… until finally after 26 years of my life in that small town of 6500 people… I decided I was creatively stifled and needed to get out.
I moved into a basement of my friend’s… I’d had other offers too, but this one seemed the most viable.
I barely draw as it is now…
I see a lot of awesome artists and wish I could be half as good.
I see my tablet gathering dust and go to my paper and pencils because it feels comfortable… and the fact of the matter is… I do it because it makes me feel good.
Venting through art helped me through a lot… and sometimes I know how you feel, dude… it sucks. But you get through it and persevere… because that’s what we do as artists… because the hard times are like when we try to draw something and it just won’t come out right… sometimes you just have to sit back for a few… take a break… and come back to it later.
Because we can’t always feel awesome… but that’s why we have places like our blogs or art vlogs or webcomics or cons… to give us that small sense that we’re accomplishing something… to see that people genuinely care about what we put out there in the world… to feel validated.
Sure, I don’t know you or the small handful of people I follow as artists very well… and I wish I did… ‘cause you guys all seem super cool and fun and inspiring to one another… And maybe it’s ‘cause it’s easier to find that kind of community online rather than go hunting in my city… but that’s the thing… the internet never sleeps… and everybody sees the internet… nobody sees a meeting room unless you’re in it.
Anyway… I probably derailed my train of thought several times… but Greg… dude… you’re awesome. Never lose hope in yourself, your art, or your goals… it’s the one thing that’ll keep you going.
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